oh! thank you! this is the answer :(

though… it kinda makes me want to buy a cheepie intel card just to get that sweet, sweet AV1

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not OP, but this has reared its ugly face once or twice with my friends.

i have been running into another issue, though it may be a firefox issue: playing some filetypes fail to play on web browser but work fine on jellyfin app (i believe my settings are correct for hardware decode on server where it can)

i still have to put some time into figuring it out tho (havent really done my research yet)